CONFIDENCE IS A SKILL, NOT A DESTINATION: HOW CONFIDENCE GOES HAND IN HAND WITH YOUR NUTRITION GOALS
I work with a lot of clients who have big body composition goals, and a common theme that comes up is that they want to feel more confident after they achieve those composition goals.
But there’s one big problem with that line of thinking:
confidence isn’t a destination you can suddenly arrive at;
it’s a skill you have to practice.
Even if you have composition goals, your current body is fully deserving of your respect. As a coach, I often witness my clients use a lot of negative self-talk about their bodies. This is especially prevalent when stress levels are high or they don’t feel like they are putting in their best effort. In those instances, it’s clear to me that the negative self-talk has more to do with other negative emotions or circumstances than it even does with body image.
Learning to respect your body even if you have composition goals is one of the first ways to start building that confidence, and it starts by not allowing yourself to engage in negative self-talk.
When you have the urge to say something negative about how you look (“I look chubby/fluffy/fat today”), try to reframe that into acknowledging what you’re actually feeling (“My digestive system feels bad.” “I haven’t slept well.” “I ate a lot of salt and am retaining water.” “I’m about to start my cycle.”)
Another way to start building confidence and to respect your body is to stop waiting to reach a milestone to dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident. I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about how she had started seeing a lot of fashion content on social media made by people who have bodies that look like hers. “They look great! They are wearing clothes that are cool, and they look so good!” she enthused.
We ended up taking a shopping trip together the next week, and both of us were on a mission to find clothes we like that made us feel more confident. And we did! The takeaway here is that we didn’t set a goal to lose ten pounds or get to the gym for a few weeks before going shopping. It was fully a practice in dressing for our bodies as they exist now.
When we tell ourselves that we will be more confident after we reach a certain weight or size or fat loss goal, we miss out on the opportunity to practice respecting our bodies. We build a habit of negative self-talk that isn’t going to magically disappear when we do reach our body composition goals. And we actually make reaching those goals harder by hyperfocusing on body dissatisfaction.
Pursuing your body composition goals from a place of respect is more likely to keep you moving forward. Even when the process is discouraging or frustrating, your body still deserves and needs your respect. No matter what it looks like or how far you have to go.
Remember: confidence is a skill, not a destination.
Start practicing now.
We are committed coaches who work with committed clients and love nothing more than helping our clients find a sustainable approach to nutrition that allows them to work towards their goals without white-knuckling their way through yo-yo diets. Learn more about our KLN team here!